Unlike many Mainers, I live a plane ride’s distance from all my family except my daughter. Selfishly speaking this frees up weekends to pursue our own desires while other Maine families are doing Sunday meals with family. On the other hand there are plenty of times I’d like to live closer to my parents to help out more. When we do gather from long distances, it’s an event.

Tomorrow I’ll be leaving my quiet summer routine for a week in Wisconsin. It will be total immersion in the Midwest- custard stands, corn fields and farms bordered by subdivisions, lake country, the land of brats, beer and big families.  By the way I don’t eat the brats and I hate leaving my garden, which is full of delicious veggies right now.

It’s a raucous biannual gathering at my parents of my brothers, sisters and everyone’s children and partners, approximately 18 in any given year. It’s a great way to reconnect, swim, take walks, cycle, wine and dine together.

Feeding 18 people is a production. Usually we’re on the porch in the summer- the whole crew needs three tables to fit everyone. Of course the youngest grandkids get their own table.  Looking out over the lake, temps usually warm and muggy, stories flowing all around the tables, what a feeling relaxing with everyone.

Each family plans and cooks at least one dinner and must remember all the special needs- gluten free for her, who’s veggie now, not too much garlic or hot spices for mom and dad.  Hopefully everyone lends a hand at some point on the dishes. Come to think of it the various in-laws who never got up from the table to help are all gone from the family fold now. A telling detail!

Despite all the help, my mother still seems to be in the kitchen much of the day or running to the store for more food. My father’s contribution to the production is being host of the gathering, which means he is in charge of airport runs, drinks and check writing.

There’s such an energy with three generations mingling and lots of conversations as people catch up. Who has the latest tattoo or hair dye or new interest among the nine grandkids?    How well are each of us siblings juggling family, careers and life?  And how is my parents’ health? 

Some years it’s been my dad we're worried about with his multiple hip replacements; this Christmas my mother cracked her ribs in a fall and now some nasty arthritis in her knees has kicked up. None of us are getting any younger that’s for sure and aging is more charming in the grandchildren.

Though here’s a generation buster. Last year Leah, my daughter Eileen’s partner, taught my mom how to paddleboard. There she was all 5 feet 4 inches of her, sun hat on(until her first capsizing), life jacket cinched tight, the original Wisconsin lake girl trying a new water sport at 75.

Who knows what fun we’ll get up to this year?